I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
