Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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