Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
