I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
