Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
