Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
