THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
