The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
