Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
