i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
