I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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