Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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