Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
