She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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