Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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