i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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