i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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