do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
