so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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