Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
