Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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