did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
