Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
