Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
