maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i just had sex bonerless
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
