You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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