How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I fill condoms, not promises.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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