Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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