I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
