Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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