I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize