That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
