Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize