Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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