Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
