I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
organizing the empties. That sober.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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