There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
