she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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