The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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