I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
