He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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