Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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