shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize