Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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