I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
