Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
