well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
