I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
