i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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