I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
