Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize