apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
