i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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