Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
