You smell like a Billy Joel song
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
