You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize